Almost everyone I have known wanted this kind of magic. Some children seem to be born with it, you know the ones. They walk into a room and no one can look at anything else. I knew a woman like this and my gay friends cried, "I'm gay and I can't take my eyes off of her!" It seems not to matter how they look, they seem to exude some kind of chemical. Obviously most of us don't have this kind of charm. Others seem lucky. In our modern society we want to discount luck, but the ancients revered it. Again, most of us are not unusually lucky. People tend to equate charm with sexual attraction and luck with gambling. I have found that there is much more to it than that. However, if your goal is to engage in sex, these are your pages. Sexual magic is very prevalent in the East, much of it called "tantra." Most of that kind of magic uses sex as a very small part of the discipline and it is frowned upon to enter tantra studies looking for sexual fulfillment.

I shall begin with attracting a mate, since most people wish to do this. It is an art that has been lost with the advent of sexual freedom, which seems contradictory. Here is why. Attraction and charm are part of anticipation and not fulfillment. We are drawn to things or repelled by them or not interested. Drawing is not having. Once you have a thing, it is no longer attractive unless it is about to go away. Some people play a game with mates, threatening to leave or looking around for someone else to manipulate the mate's feelings and bring on attraction again. This cycle usually ends with one or both parties getting fed up or disgusted or both. Keeping a mate is not the same as attracting a mate.

  • Respect the human in the other

  • Focus on the other completely

  • Listen to the words, not the body

  • Respect yourself as an angel

  • This is a mission, not an adventure

The abuse suffered in this kind of magic always occurs when you forget the other's humanity or you forget that you are not acting like a human, but like an angel. You are shining, attracting, and not making yourself into an addiction. You must always be aware of your own role as the one to light the darkness and not be interested in assuaging someone's pain or offering hope that they might find a safe harbor. That is way too much responsibility and you must always be an advocate for personal responsibility of the consequences. If you hold yourself to a higher standard you will not fall into the trap of trying to get rid of a vampire or nursemaiding a broken soul. Do not make the mistake of being the human and making the other an angel. That is also disaster. Some try to attract people by pretending to be broken and putting the other on a pedestal to be a rescuer. This is well known among women, but it happens quite often with men. Do this, and you degrade yourself and ask for contempt. It is also very, very important to recognize humanity. Most people treat others like animals, children, or robot slaves. Look at how you treat others. Do you ever tell them what to do? Do you ever order them around? Do you ever whine at them or get angry when they don't do what you want? You are not honoring the human in them. Never tell, always ask. Never expect obedience. Assume that they will see the best way to act and do not think that you know what is best. If you are looking for a parent/child or master/slave relationship, this is not your page.


Developing Focus

The Willow begin with focus. This picture is of a Willow warrior with the s-spears covered with stripes. When she whirls them in a spear dance, they become hypnotically attractive. Her tattoos are also part of this attraction. Part of attraction is drawing the focus so that the other is arrested or halted and drawn from the reality stream. This allows the attractor to redirect the attention of the other onto another path. The extreme of this is hypnotism, and this works on people for whom the power of suggestion can override skepticism. On Earth, this is created with focusing attention on the sexual possibility (high heels, long hair, makeup, various clothing like codpieces and bustiers) but it can also evoke a charm of many sorts. In a permanet mating, the charm must excede beyond that of sex, and usually evokes security, either wealth or stability in personality. However, in a noisy environment, attention has to be drawn to a strong point in the attractor.

1. Is my desire to attract attention on my person?
2. Is my desire to attract attention to my situation?
3. Is my desire to attract attention to my stability?
4. Is my desire to attract attention to my tastes and lifestyle?
5. Is my desire to attract attention to my family or desire for a family?
6. Is my desire to attract attention to my personality?

The reason to narrow this down is that people try to attract others generally. Magic is about focus. A general attraction will attract all sorts of responses. If you do not know you are attracting sexually, but want to attract someone long-term, you may be disappointed when you get one response and want another. Thousands of books have been written about women who did not think that they were attractive and did not realize that the man was looking for something other than sex. Or vice versa. Many societies have tried to narrow this focus in social morals to try to "fix" the general message that women give off of being sexually attractive when they are merely young and healthy and want to be generally attractive. Men get frustrated when they want sex and they give off a message of security for women looking for a family man. Part of the sexual revolution was to free up what was viewed to be "hang-ups" but were an attempt to separate out the desire focus on women.

One of the things we encountered in Anieth was the clash of messages. One culture would have a standard for sex versus security versus friendship and another would have something different. In Anieth, where women already were part of a secure family and ran into no danger if they wished to have children, sexual morals were different. In Zelosia, where a woman who was sexually available faced starvation if she produced children, the morals were different. So many people who practice charm spend much time meditating and focusing on what message they want to put out.

Putting out a Sexual Message

Begin with health and higiene. The healthiest people on the planet practice a raw diet, or a diet without allergens and mostly of fresh food. This eliminates bad smells, makes the eyes white and sparkly, makes the skin glow, and the hair shine. Even if you are older, this is extremely important. So is exercise; yoga is best.

Clothing varies according to styles and culture. Clothing, including jewelry and body marking gives a clear message that most children learn as teens. Men have a tendency to all look alike in modern cultures. This confuses women who then have to look for secondary traits such as popularity and wealth. If you are a man, it is extremely hard to vary clothing, but getting creative in small ways attracts the attention of women. If you vary in a way that gives a subgroup message (tattooing or piercing) you will only attract women of that subgroup. Go on vacation and try something wild (like a cape) and see what happens. Your visibility will shoot up, for hostile males, but also for women.

Body language. There have been books written on body language, but few men read them. The most important feature a man has is is eyes. Studies show that a woman looks at a man's eyes before his muscles or his clothing. Even if you are myopic, you can get darker lensed glasses and practice the "hunter focus." This sounds hysterical, but it works. I don't mean wolves, birds are hunters and they watch prey very carefully. If you look at a woman, you will draw her attention. This is so true that it has become tabu. Looking at a woman is almost considered sexual abuse. So be careful to do so in the right context. Do NOT approach a woman. So often, men blow the charm with a fast approach. Think like a hunter, and watch her. This is also true of gay men, and also true of women. If you look at a man, he will consider it an invitation. He is trained to ignore this kind of attention, but if you watch him long enough, the message will get through. This message may be unwelcome, so you may have to try it with different people until you get a positive result.

There are many focussing exercises. Meditation is one of the best.

1. Find a comfortable place to sit.
2. Try to clear your mind.
3. Slow your breath with your eyes closed. This may take several minutes.
4. Sit straight, try to pretend a string is attached to the top of your head pulling you up.
5. After you feel clear (not before) and your emotions have calmed and your thoughts are quiet, open your eyes.
6. Practice opening your eyes and immediately focusing at different directions.
7. Try to move the energy in your spine and the back of your head into the gaze of your eyes.
8. If it helps think of your eyes as a laser beam.
9. When you are out in public, close your eyes, clear your thoughts and then look at HER.

This doesn't work unless you put your energy into the idea of HER. This means that she is the object of your intent, but it also means that she is a shining human being which you wish to cherish and share intimacy. This is not about you, or it doesn't work. You are a channel of energy, an angel, if you will, and she is the glowing jewel of humanity with whom you will share joy. Sex is a holy experience that has been degraded and perverted. If you think about her humanity (vice versa is true) you will have a contact that is worth remembering.

Other Attraction

Attraction is about focus. It is about caring. As an artist, you learn very fast that the more care and attention you put into a work, even of a weed, the better it is. You must pick out the particular signal you wish to put out and CARE about it. This is a positive feeling, so it doesn't work well with negative attention getting. It also takes a lot of time and energy. Most people are busy or lazy and opt out for attracting something that takes little effort. Women used to spend years making a "hope" chest full of materials for their new home. This was their focus. These days women spend hours working on their appearance. This is their focus. It is any wonder that homes have problems? A man used to build a house for his family. This took years to do, but it was his house and he cared about it. Now he builds a career and wonders why his woman doesn't care about it. Attraction is a shared experience. Your focus and energy will determine what you want. This is also an opportunity to go do something different. Many men take up dancing to meet women and find that they enjoy the exercise. Same with yoga. Women play soccer to get exercise and end up meeting men. If you are looking for a mate, you must go to where they are. They will not come to you (not often enough!)

People want attention in their careers. Again, this usually takes years for those people who do not have inborn luck and charm. Focus is the key and hard work. Successful people who were not just in the right place at the right time, work extremely hard. Most people don't want to work hard and envy those who have results. To draw attention to work, it must be extraordinary. People resent having to "sell" themselves, but in a market environment, everyone must be ready to present themselves. The alternative is connections, and this requires charm. Another key is repetition. A way to draw attention is to keep it with constant repetition of a creative idea. Think of kids memorizing songs. They play them over and over. You will get heartily sick of what you promote, but the repetion works!

Building charm requires treating others as humans. If you look at them, listen to them, take what they say seriously, and ask questions, they will be charmed. Our society is so starved for attention that merely giving it will charm them. However, it often charms them and drugs them at the same time. This is where you must be the angel. This means taking the moral high ground (without lecturing or acting like god) setting an example of caring behavior. Also drawing focus away from the ills of the person who is needing so much attention. Focus them forward. Focus them on the work. Focus them on the future. Being the angel is like being the pilot of the ship, not the captain. "We should go this way," not "do what I tell you!" Captains are attractive, so many people think that to act like them will be attractive, but the captain has got there moving up through the ranks. Acting like a captain does not produce the same results. What does work is doing the job extremely well and listening and working with others around you as if they were living beings who have souls and homes and lives. We are in this together is your motto, but to attract, you will also say to yourself, "I care about this enough to want to help." Consistently focusing on the task, on helping with the task, on caring about the humans involved, but not letting them wreck the ship, is a delicate balance that requires practice. The first step is taking the task out of the master/slave or master/animal or master/machine realm.

© 2015, A.R. Stone

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